In both videos
below, the guy been tested and is been accused of Cheating, made it clear that
"They are talking to someone, but not yet discuss been on boyfriend/girlfriend
term " thus, they are 2 people in a Dating Relationship, but not on Dating
term. Therefore, it doesn't count as they are dating exclusively, it
doesn't even count as they are dating. Thus, it is not Cheating
One interesting fact that Cupid came
across while researching this book, is how lots of women that been through
abusive relationship claim, they felt needing go through a period of healing,
till ready for a new relationship.
While researching through for this book,
Cupid also seen lots of women that been through abusive relationship felt this
way.
In this instance Cupid decide to dig
further, into this topic, but this is one topic that is hard to dig into.
However, Cupid soon found a pattern of
behavior within their action. They all confuse Dating to be same as marriage. A
lot of them, when been asked to talk more on this topic, some of them claim
they felt not ready to enter a new partnership, due to spending years been
manipulated, while other claim it is unfair to their new partner, while been so
emotionally traumatized from the abusive relationship However, one thing all
these women got in common, is confusing Dating to be same as marriage They
frequently refer to been in a relationship as “Been Together” and refer to the
person they are been in a relationship with as their “partner”. One woman in
particular even refer to been in a relationship as in “Monogamy Commitment” A
most interesting fact is, all of these women chose to use the term “partner” to
describe the person they are dating, but none use the term “boyfriend”
Thus, it is not difficult to image these
women felt they are not ready to be in a relationship. Even amount people that
never been in an abusive relationship, why is it a bad idea running off to
Vegas and married a complete stranger?
However, the problem is just because two
people are in a relationship, doesn’t necessary mean they are romantically
together or it mean they are each other’s partner, nor does it necessary mean
“monogamy commitment” There are so many different types of relationships out
there whether it is Marriage, Casual Dating, Serious Dating, Friends with
Benefits, One night Stand, De facto Spouse, two week casual fling while on vacation.
The list goes on and not all qualify as “Monogamy Commitment”, “Been Together”
or “Partners”
But the follow up question soon become, do
these women felt they are not ready for all sorts of relationships or is it
just a situation where they confuse all relationship to be partners. If they
are not confusing all relationships to equal partners, can there be relationships
they felt that they are ready for? I would image certain types of relationship
might benefit girls who are in abusive relationship, if they are able to do it.
Off the top of my head, I start thinking of stories of pretty girls that are
able to get guys to do stuff for them. So, if she wants to get out, if she is
pretty enough to be able to get eight guys to help her, going home with her, to
help her pack her suitcase and leave (because the abuser might get violent if
catching her trying to leave, but if she come with eight guys, good chance he
doesn’t dare to do anything.) that relationship can totally work to her
advantage. Afterwards, to say thank you, if she felt comfortable, she can date
one of the eight guys for a few months or if she felt not comfortable dating
any of those guys, buy them a bottle of 20 years old scotch.
The issue of confusing Dating
to be same as marriage and not understanding it doesn’t count as dating till
mutual consent, seem to be getting worse in the west. In old school western
movies, prior to the 1970s, they didn’t use to refer to two people that are
Just Dating, as a Couple, but now, western media refer to all people that are
Dating to be a Couple, regardless of circumstances. Until 20 years ago, the word
“Partner” was reserved to be used, referring to two people that are either
married or at least in a de facto relationship, when people are not yet
married, they always use the political correct term, which is “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”
but now, the term “partner” is frequently been used to describe two people that
are dating, despite they are not de facto. And the term “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”
is been used less and less. Even in terms of ex, the term ex-boyfriend and
ex-girlfriend, is more and more frequently been replaced by the term
ex-partner, despite they were just dating and are not even in a de facto
relationship.
And to share a story with you, this is a
real story. There was this Japanese girl that went to the US as an exchange
student for one semester. While in the US, she starts flirting with this
particular guy in one of her class a lot. After she returning to Japan, they
still flirt within the exchanging emails. When, the American guy went to Japan
to visit her, he discovered she got 2 boyfriends (open relationship) and he got
very angry. The Japanese girl got really annoyed and said she never consent to
been in a relationship with him. The American guy asked “what about all the
flirting” and the Japanese girl replied “That was just kidding around between
friends”
And to share a personal story with you.
About 3 years ago, I went back to college to take a marketing course for work.
Personally, I don’t like been on Dating Term with people, because I felt self-conscious
about my employment history in my 20s, but that doesn’t stop me from flirting
with girls I find attractive. Some of the girls flirt back, especially those
without boyfriends. Most of the girls, got no issue with me flirting with other
girls, especially the Asian girls. But there was this one particular Italian
girl that is an exchange student, I guess she was seeking a casual fling and is
always giggling when I am around and when I flirt with her, she flirts back.
But realizing I flirt with other girls also she was really unhappy about it and
doesn’t wants talking to me anymore. And I was thinking “What are you on about?
You got a boyfriend back in Italy yourself” and didn’t talk her anymore, after
that.
So, within the two westerners we see in
these two stories, we see how the western view of confusing Dating to be same
as marriage and not understanding it require mutual consent for it to qualify
as Dating, influence their thought pattern. Where in Asia, people understand it
only count as Dating with mutual consent and Dating isn’t sufficient to count
as married, thus, casual flirting between multiple people that are not on
Dating Term with anyone is pretty common and there are a small handful of girls
that might be interest in casual sex. And even when been on Dating Term with a
person, they still go out with their other crushes as just friends, providing
they keep it none sexual and not on Dating Term and that only end, when he/she
become Spouse with a person, usually involving their girlfriend move to a new
country for him (with his consent), they got a baby together or when they
actually got married.
An interesting fact, on an episode of
the Tara Banks show, an India guy went to a bar to pick up random girls, he be
flirting with a lot of different girls, despite he made it clear, “He is not
looking for anything exclusive or serious” right from the beginning, the girls
he approached got mix reactions. While been interview by the show, half of the
girls that was originally interest in him, after seen him going to flirt with
other girls, find him to be a sleaze and lost interest, while the other half
find him to be confident and got more interest.
Due to the existing culture practice of “Dating
to be Exclusive” and an “Agreement to Date to mean an agreement to Date Exclusively”
and fail to understand mutual consent is require to qualify to been on Dating
Term, we are also seen an emerging of a Dating Culture for been in a Dating
Relationship to be exclusive, regardless of whether you are on Dating Term. This
is also a very unhealthy Dating Culture that should not be obey. The “For
Dating to be Exclusive” and “agreement to date to mean an agreement to Date
Exclusively” culture, is usually a healthy culture, due to on one hand, it help
decrease the rate of STD. On the other hand, you can still be on Dating
Relationship with other people, providing it is not on Date Term and it is none
sexual. But the idea of been in a Dating Relationship to be exclusive, mean you
can’t even go out with other people you like as just friends, even if the two
of you are not on Dating Term and keep it none sexual. That is as bad as
running off to Vegas and marry a complete stranger. Such Dating culture should not
be obeyed and should be ignored.
Also, it is important to
note, in term of the culture practice of the “Dating Culture” there are both good
Dating Culture Practice and Bad Dating Culture Practice. Whether such culture
practice is good or bad, is determined based on its relationship with the code
of ethic, peace, harmony and justice. If it breaks the code of ethic, don’t
follow such culture practice. This is important to note, because, due to the
western world confusing Dating to be same as marriage and doesn’t understand
mutual consent require for it to count as Dating and it seems to be getting
worse, we are also starting to see the emerging of a Dating Culture where been
in a Dating Relationship count as been on Dating Term and been on Dating Term
count as Spouse. That is a very bad, unhealthy and sickening Dating Culture
that under no circumstances should you follow and should disobey regardless of circumstances.
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