How to counter the effect of Response Shaping Process
In regards to dealing with people trying to persuade you to a distorted view via Response Shaping Process. What Dr. McGraw advice is you need to know the facts. And in Cupid’s opinion this is further prove women that are not faithful, committed or loyal, to an unreasonable extend got an advantage against abusers.
Example One
As mentioned earlier, most Asian adults and western women that converted to Asian dating view, would have a lot more lovers in their life compare to westerners. And having multiple lovers at once, isn’t uncommon, amount people not yet married or become unwed Spouses, even when they are on Dating Term with a person, they will have other lovers, but keep it none sexual with their other lovers and avoid been on Dating Term. (aka going out as just friends) This is especially the case with women with strong desire to find love and marriage.
Western women living in the west, due to confusing dating to be same as marriage, even if she is such woman with strong desire for love and marriage would restrict herself to have only one lover at a single given time and if she desire to take on another lover, she would terminate the current relationship first.
However, that also make these western women more vulnerable to become victim of abuse.
As mention earlier, most abusers feed to her fear of not able to find a new man, usually by targeting her pre-existing insecurity towards her appearance, to keep her with him. Leading to high rate of women, not leaving abusive relationships. Some abusers even use that to his advantage to assert greater control over her, forcing her to cut connection to things that make it easier for her to leave him, such as friends and family, get her to quit her job and/or put the money under his name.
It is harder to persuade, a woman with many lovers, to the opinion that she cannot find another man. Due to she got undeniable evidence proving otherwise. Even if a woman got no other lovers right now, it doesn’t mean she cannot gain other lovers. Thus, unless she is really a girl that can’t get other lovers, such technique abuser uses, are less likely to be effective on her.
This is also why narcissist beta male thugs, are more likely to desire a serious exclusive and committed relationship, over casual, none committed and none exclusive relationship and they frequently try to push for a relationship to move to a more serious, exclusive and committed stage much quicker.
It is important to note, narcissist beta male thugs, got less to lose by entering a serious exclusive and committed relationship. Due to (1) beta male got more trouble getting girls, while alpha male got greater options (except for guys that know more about how to get a girl, usually amount men that are older or some got expert knowledge in arena such as psychology of sexual attraction, similar to girls knowing if you want to get a guy into a serious relationship, don’t sleep with him, too soon.) e.g. a college football team quarterback that can have sex with a different girl every weekend, got more to lose, by entering a committed relationship, until he had enough fun, while beta male, its unlikely he got that sort of luck with girls. (2) thugs take commitment less seriously thus they are likely to give a commitment more casually. Some thugs might even play double standard, where you must keep your commitment to him/her, but he got no need to keep his/her commitment to you. Decent guys take commitment more seriously, thus, are less likely to give commitment so casually. Some alpha males and some decent guys might even come across as commitment phobic.
When the western mainstream value think mutual consent is not require for it to qualify as Dating and confuse Dating to be same as marriage and think all Cheating to be wrong, it works to the narcissist beta male’s thug’s advantage greatly, while himself got very little to lose.
Example Two
Another reason the west got the highest rate of abuse to women is due to confusing romance to be love. And as explained earlier in this book, narcissist beta male thugs love targeting these women, due to they can first use the romance to draw her in, follow by attacking her self-worth in her appearance, to make her fear leaving him, fearing she is not able to find another man.
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In regards to dealing with people trying to persuade you to a distorted view via Response Shaping Process. What Dr. McGraw advice is you need to know the facts. And in Cupid’s opinion this is further prove women that are not faithful, committed or loyal, to an unreasonable extend got an advantage against abusers.
Example One
As mentioned earlier, most Asian adults and western women that converted to Asian dating view, would have a lot more lovers in their life compare to westerners. And having multiple lovers at once, isn’t uncommon, amount people not yet married or become unwed Spouses, even when they are on Dating Term with a person, they will have other lovers, but keep it none sexual with their other lovers and avoid been on Dating Term. (aka going out as just friends) This is especially the case with women with strong desire to find love and marriage.
Western women living in the west, due to confusing dating to be same as marriage, even if she is such woman with strong desire for love and marriage would restrict herself to have only one lover at a single given time and if she desire to take on another lover, she would terminate the current relationship first.
However, that also make these western women more vulnerable to become victim of abuse.
As mention earlier, most abusers feed to her fear of not able to find a new man, usually by targeting her pre-existing insecurity towards her appearance, to keep her with him. Leading to high rate of women, not leaving abusive relationships. Some abusers even use that to his advantage to assert greater control over her, forcing her to cut connection to things that make it easier for her to leave him, such as friends and family, get her to quit her job and/or put the money under his name.
It is harder to persuade, a woman with many lovers, to the opinion that she cannot find another man. Due to she got undeniable evidence proving otherwise. Even if a woman got no other lovers right now, it doesn’t mean she cannot gain other lovers. Thus, unless she is really a girl that can’t get other lovers, such technique abuser uses, are less likely to be effective on her.
This is also why narcissist beta male thugs, are more likely to desire a serious exclusive and committed relationship, over casual, none committed and none exclusive relationship and they frequently try to push for a relationship to move to a more serious, exclusive and committed stage much quicker.
It is important to note, narcissist beta male thugs, got less to lose by entering a serious exclusive and committed relationship. Due to (1) beta male got more trouble getting girls, while alpha male got greater options (except for guys that know more about how to get a girl, usually amount men that are older or some got expert knowledge in arena such as psychology of sexual attraction, similar to girls knowing if you want to get a guy into a serious relationship, don’t sleep with him, too soon.) e.g. a college football team quarterback that can have sex with a different girl every weekend, got more to lose, by entering a committed relationship, until he had enough fun, while beta male, its unlikely he got that sort of luck with girls. (2) thugs take commitment less seriously thus they are likely to give a commitment more casually. Some thugs might even play double standard, where you must keep your commitment to him/her, but he got no need to keep his/her commitment to you. Decent guys take commitment more seriously, thus, are less likely to give commitment so casually. Some alpha males and some decent guys might even come across as commitment phobic.
When the western mainstream value think mutual consent is not require for it to qualify as Dating and confuse Dating to be same as marriage and think all Cheating to be wrong, it works to the narcissist beta male’s thug’s advantage greatly, while himself got very little to lose.
Example Two
Another reason the west got the highest rate of abuse to women is due to confusing romance to be love. And as explained earlier in this book, narcissist beta male thugs love targeting these women, due to they can first use the romance to draw her in, follow by attacking her self-worth in her appearance, to make her fear leaving him, fearing she is not able to find another man.
Page Twenty Two
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