(Page Thirty Six) Chapter Two: Even if you are Dating to seek marriage, you should take a Player approach

Chapter Two: Even if you are Dating to seek marriage, you should take a Player approach

Regardless of whether you are Dating for fun or dating for marriage “Take a player approach towards Dating”. Just have a bit of fun with it and see what happens.

What that means is

One

Regardless of whether you are dating for fun or dating for marriage, the healthiest approach is, don’t treat dating to be something that is more than just Dating.

Two

The best approach towards relationship is socialize, just go out with people you are interest in as just friends and later if both of you wants to, you can become more than just friends and even if you got a boyfriend/girlfriend keep going out with other people you are interest in as just friends, in case your relationship with your BF/GF doesn’t work out and if you and your BF/GF are not yet on Couple Term, it isn’t Cheating to leave your BF/GF for others (but vise verse you need to be OK with your BF/GF leaving you for other people)

Three

Keep it casual, never become a Couple before you are ready. Even better until you are ready, to be dating exclusively, go out as just friends or just Dating None Exclusively and make sure the other person know it is not exclusively by specify “Just Dating None Exclusively” right from the beginning of the relationship (ideally, before the first date or on the first date) thus, keep your option open. (If you don’t want having sex, due to fear of STD or unwanted pregnancy, you don’t need to)

Four: Don’t Date for anything, just take a relationship for what it is and have a bit of fun with it

Don’t date for marriage or date for anything, just have fun. Usually when people date, they date for something, whether it is for marriage, for sex, to get a sugar daddy, for companionship or others. But not all relationships are suitable for everything. For example, amount men, there are those who are interest in a serious relationship, he wants find somebody and get marry. Others he just wants having one-night stand. But sometime a guy that want marriage, he is always the type of guy that girls are interest in having a casual fling with, but not interest in marry. And the guy that wants the meaningless sex, he continues to find himself the type of guy that girls wants to marry and we know when a girl hopes to marry a guy, she withhold sex and if she discover he is just interest in meaningless fling, she would either go find another guy or she withhold sex even more. Thus, both these guys got what the other person want, but not what themselves want. And here we see a problem, usually when men and women date, they date for something, whether it is marriage, sex, sugar daddy or something else. And the key is “Don’t Date for anything”.

Think of it this way, when you go to a restaurant and you look at the menu. If you want to buy pizza, you don’t go to MacDonald, you go to Pizza Hut. If you want burger and fries, you don’t go to Pizza Hut, you go to MacDonald. Sometime you can get certain level of substitution in a restaurant, for example the Pizza Hut close to where I live, I can substitute chicken for ham, on my Hawaii Pizza. If you go to a fancy restaurant you might be able to have more substitution, but it is likely there is a limitation of what you can substitute for, for example, it is unlikely you can get them to make Chinese food, in a French restaurant. And if you can’t get anything you like on the menu of that restaurant or through their substitution, don’t go to that restaurant. For example, if you hate pizza, don’t go to pizza hut. If you love hamburgers go to MacDonald.

The same with relationship, thus, instead of dating for something, it is better to take a relationship for what it is and just have a bit of fun with it and if this relationship offers you nothing you like, don’t go for it.

None Spouses Dating for Marriage: Two people hanging out a bit to determine whether they want to be romantically together and eventually become Spouses. If the answer is yes, they will eventually become Spouses, within a period of 2~3 years. If the answer is no, the relationship will end

Spouse Dating for Marriage: A pair of husband and wife socializing with romantic intent, to make their relationship work for marriage or keep the spark alive for their marriage (for example, some husband and wife do date night) However, not all husband and wife goes on Dates together.

None Spouse Dating for Fun: Two people that are sexually attracted to each other but got no intention of getting married, socializing with romantic intent to fulfill their desire and having a bit of fun together. Sometime, the relationship might lead to marriage, due to the two people liking each other so much, they decide they want to be romantically together and eventually become Spouses (often refer to as “Casual relationship turn serious”) Otherwise, the relationship usually ends very quickly, after one or both parties had enough fun, such relationship, usually end within a few months.

Spouse Dating for Fun: Some married people still enjoy going on Date together. (For example, one of the reasons some husband and wife do date night, is due to the busy life of been a married couple with work and kids, they struggle to have some along time together, like when they were dating or newlyweds. Doing date night, is their way of making time for each other.)

Page Thirty Five
Page Thirty Seven