The problem with
the western world is that it confuses Dating to be same as marriage. Thus,
think that by Dating you are in a physically and emotionally exclusive
relationship and is romantically together, life partner and sexual mate. Thus,
it sees all cases of Dating to be Spouse Dating for marriage. As a result, it
sees such act of going out with other people you are romantically interest in
as just friends to be Cheating, due to that is Cheating between Spouses.
This is also a
big reason why, the player approach towards relationship, has always been
demonized in the west, due to the different nature of marriage and dating.
For
example, if you are dating a person exclusively that you are not interest in,
shouldn't you break up, so not waste their time? So, why some say "Dumping
a girl after you got bored is treating women like crap" isn't that saying
"Not lead her on is treating women like crap?"
So, why is there
the concept of “Dumping a girl after you get bored is treating a woman like
crap”? This is due to confusing Dating to be same as marriage, because, if for
example, you and your wife are married, but after 20 years of marriage, you
find yourself losing interest in her, due to she lost her looks. So, you dump
her for a hot 21 years old yoga instructor that is treating your wife like
crap.
Thus, due to
confusing Dating to be same as marriage, something that is not treating woman
like crap, but is the right thing to do, between two people that are just
Dating, is been seen as treating women like crap, due to when two people are
Spouses, it is likely to be treating women like crap.
This issue of
confusing Dating to be same as marriage, is most obvious regarding to the
changing nature of how womanizers are been portray in western media
In classic pre
1970s western movies and TV series, womanizers are usually portrayed as “Lady’s
man” and “alpha male” that is a great entertainment for the ladies and they
love the ladies too. For example, in movies such as James Bond and in the Star
Trek Series, Captain Kirk and Commander Riker, were all portray as Lady’s man.
After the 1970s
how womanizer is portray started changing. It can be argued westerns born in
the 1950s and 1960s is the first generation to confuse Dating to be same as
marriage, as it is during this time, we start seen more of their influence in
western media and it is also during this time, where womanizers’ portray move
from lady’s man to, treating women like crap.
In early
production, womanizers are been portray as men that manipulate women’s
emotional desire to get married and have kids, making false promise of kids and
marriage, just so women would sleep with him and dump her after the sex.
Despite in reality, women tend to withhold sex, while seeking a serious
relationship, hoping by doing so, it allows a guy to develop feeling for her
that is beyond lust.
Later media
production, the womanizer is been portray as treating women like crap, despite
he never tries to misled and manipulate the woman. For example, in Two and a
Half men, the character Charlie, is very much a lady’s man due to the fact he
is charming and he is a pretty boy, thus, women just start throwing themselves
at him, despite he never manipulate them, yet, he is still portray as treating
women like crap. Infer an idea it is treating women like crap, unless you
specify only seeking a causal relationship.
In an episode of
the Tara Banks show, this portray is taken to a new height, where even a
situation where the guy, right from the beginning told the woman, he is not
seeking a serious relationship and is only looking for something a bit casual
for now. Thus, the girl know it isn’t serious, but is interest in having a
casual fling with him, thus chose to enter such causal relationship with him,
it is still been portray as treating women like crap.
Also, in real
life, most successful womanizer, they are more in coalition with womanizers
from those pre 1970s movies such as James Bond. Evidence by for example, in
college which group of guys get the most sex, with girls throwing themselves at
him, without he needing to do anything? The guys that are in the college
football team. It is a well-known fact, athletics get to have way more no
strings attached, casual sex, then men of other professions, with women
throwing themselves at them, during their career. On the other hand, when a
woman is seeking a serious relationship, she tends to withhold sex for longer,
so those guys that try to get a girl in bed by claiming he wants kids and
marriage, they are going to need a lot of work, till the girl is willing to
sleep with him.
A most
interesting is Asian women and western women’s attitude towards men that dump a
girl after the sex. While researching for this book, what Cupid
discover is Asian women and western women got two distinct different attitudes
in such arena. Western women consider, men that dump women after the sex is
treating women like crap. Asian women on the other hand, their approach is “If
you don’t want risk getting dump after the sex. Never sleep with a guy, unless
he made a commitment.” And Asian women that dates for marriage, are way better at
withhold sex, compare to western women. Many withhold sex for one or two years.
Others withhold sex till after marriage. And they show little sympathy for
women that are upset for getting dump after the sex, some even mock them a bit.
While researching
for this book, Cupid came across an interesting story. A Chinese girl start telling
about how she and her boyfriend met. She claims, she had a major crush on him
in high school, but never had a chance to talk. In college she and he happened
to be in the same class, giving them a chance to get into contact. She starts
sending sexy photo of herself to him via smart phone and they started going out
as just friends, but not on Dating Term. One day the guy tries hold her hand
and the girl quickly pulled her hand back and said “What are you doing? You not
yet ask me to be your girlfriend.” And the guy said “Alright, would you like to
be my girlfriend” and the girl said “yes” afterwards, she let him hold her
hand.
While the East is
becoming increasingly mature with passing generation, regarding to the
difference between Dating and Marriage, the west, is increasingly confusing
Dating to be same as marriage and not understanding mutual consent out of own
free will in a clear state of mind is required. All people that are Dating are
been referred to as a Couple, in western media. The term “Partner” that should
only be used referring to two people that are married or in a De facto
relationship, is increasingly replacing the term “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”
to refer to any two people, that are dating, despite not de facto. While
listening to the radio, the last year, whenever they talk about relationships,
I don’t even hear the term “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” any more, it is all
“partners”. About ten years ago, you still hear the term “boyfriend” and
“girlfriend”, now it is always using the term “partners”.
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