Of course, in romantic relationships, it is possible for e.g. person A to mistaken person B to have consented, but person B never consented. In that instance in Asia, we determine who is at fault for the misunderstanding, based on whether there are verbal or written consent.
On a Chinese Dating show for example, many times the experts, host or celebrity guests, especially male ones, interrupt the conversation and said stuff such as "Just wait a second, are there verbal consent for the two of you to be boyfriend and girlfriend" and if the answer is yes, the next question is "how did that took place" For example in one episode, the boyfriend confronted his girlfriend that is marrying another guy that she met after moving to the city for work, right away, the male host cut into the conversation and said "wait, was there any verbal consent?" and the girl said "Well, we never really consent to been boyfriend/girlfriend, it was just, a lot of people in our town think we are a good couple and we were good friends and I never met anybody I like, so I didn't fight it, but I never consent to been in a relationship." and the guy also admit that is the case and the girl apologized for misleading him. The next thing, the host said is "This girl did nothing wrong." When the claim to be boyfriend got angry, the host right away defended the girl saying 小夥子你有沒有想到你在這個時候突然出現在這裡不如你早早的把話說明白所以今天這個失意在你自己 (English Translation: Son, have you ever thought, instead of you appearing here today, why didn’t you make your relationship status clear right from the beginning? So, today, you are the one at fault.) (And this TV host is more hardcore then I am, I think the girl is partly to blame for misleading him, but this TV host is like “Nope, the girl did nothing wrong, the guy is 110% at fault.”) (Despite this episode is in Chinese and most reader here can’t speak Chinese, I still want to add the YouTube hyperlink to this episode) In another episode, the girlfriend complain how her boyfriend never show her affection, the male celebrity guest cut in and asked "wait, are there verbal or written consent?" and the boyfriend said "yes" and the celebrity guest asked "how, did that took place." and the boyfriend said "we were talking one night a few months ago online and I said, would you like to be my girlfriend and she reply OK" and right away the celebrity guest say "Well, in that case, it is official. Why are you so shy for?"
For most Gen Y Asian, verbal consent is an even bigger deal, compare to our parent’s generation. Just like some westerners would say “it doesn’t count as they are married till they say I do.” Most Gen Y Asian would say “it doesn’t count as Dating till they say I do.”
The most common argument, Cupid seen westerners used against this Asian concept is “What a load of crap, as if you need written or verbal consent for love!” and Cupid seen many westerners confuse “love” and “dating” as the same. Thus, it is important to point out.
1. Just because two people are Dating doesn’t mean they are in love and
2. Just because two people are in Love, doesn’t mean they are Dating
Love and Dating are two completely different things. (Hence, why sometime people can be Dating one person, but in love with another.)
Video One
Even this Youtube comedy reflect Asian’s mainstream view that it doesn't count unless there are mutual consent out of your own free will in a clear state of mind. Early in this film when the Asian guy introduce the white girl as his girlfriend, his friends asked "since when?" and the response is "We made it official last week"
Video Two
After the guy asked the girl out on a date, this western girl that lived in Taiwan for many years, double check, whether the guy is asking her out on a date, not a work thing.
Page Twelve
Page Fourteen
On a Chinese Dating show for example, many times the experts, host or celebrity guests, especially male ones, interrupt the conversation and said stuff such as "Just wait a second, are there verbal consent for the two of you to be boyfriend and girlfriend" and if the answer is yes, the next question is "how did that took place" For example in one episode, the boyfriend confronted his girlfriend that is marrying another guy that she met after moving to the city for work, right away, the male host cut into the conversation and said "wait, was there any verbal consent?" and the girl said "Well, we never really consent to been boyfriend/girlfriend, it was just, a lot of people in our town think we are a good couple and we were good friends and I never met anybody I like, so I didn't fight it, but I never consent to been in a relationship." and the guy also admit that is the case and the girl apologized for misleading him. The next thing, the host said is "This girl did nothing wrong." When the claim to be boyfriend got angry, the host right away defended the girl saying 小夥子你有沒有想到你在這個時候突然出現在這裡不如你早早的把話說明白所以今天這個失意在你自己 (English Translation: Son, have you ever thought, instead of you appearing here today, why didn’t you make your relationship status clear right from the beginning? So, today, you are the one at fault.) (And this TV host is more hardcore then I am, I think the girl is partly to blame for misleading him, but this TV host is like “Nope, the girl did nothing wrong, the guy is 110% at fault.”) (Despite this episode is in Chinese and most reader here can’t speak Chinese, I still want to add the YouTube hyperlink to this episode) In another episode, the girlfriend complain how her boyfriend never show her affection, the male celebrity guest cut in and asked "wait, are there verbal or written consent?" and the boyfriend said "yes" and the celebrity guest asked "how, did that took place." and the boyfriend said "we were talking one night a few months ago online and I said, would you like to be my girlfriend and she reply OK" and right away the celebrity guest say "Well, in that case, it is official. Why are you so shy for?"
For most Gen Y Asian, verbal consent is an even bigger deal, compare to our parent’s generation. Just like some westerners would say “it doesn’t count as they are married till they say I do.” Most Gen Y Asian would say “it doesn’t count as Dating till they say I do.”
Thus, unless it is mutually consensual to be in such romantic
relationship out of your own free will in a clear state of mind, it doesn't
count!!! Therefore, it is not Cheating!!!
The most common argument, Cupid seen westerners used against this Asian concept is “What a load of crap, as if you need written or verbal consent for love!” and Cupid seen many westerners confuse “love” and “dating” as the same. Thus, it is important to point out.
1. Just because two people are Dating doesn’t mean they are in love and
2. Just because two people are in Love, doesn’t mean they are Dating
Love and Dating are two completely different things. (Hence, why sometime people can be Dating one person, but in love with another.)
Video One
Even this Youtube comedy reflect Asian’s mainstream view that it doesn't count unless there are mutual consent out of your own free will in a clear state of mind. Early in this film when the Asian guy introduce the white girl as his girlfriend, his friends asked "since when?" and the response is "We made it official last week"
Video Two
After the guy asked the girl out on a date, this western girl that lived in Taiwan for many years, double check, whether the guy is asking her out on a date, not a work thing.
Page Twelve
Page Fourteen
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