The west got some problematic views regarding to the ethic of Cheating in romantic relationships.
I don’t expect many westerners supporting this view. However, I must point it out.While, most westerners think all Cheating in Romantic Relationships are wrong. In most of the none west, people think it depends on circumstances.
I am more in favor of the Eastern view. Take stealing for example. Usually stealing is wrong, but what if you are living on the streets and your children are starving to death, so your only choice is stealing? What if this is WW2 and an ally spy is stealing intel from the Germans? Same with Cheating in romantic relationship. What if your daughter is in an abusive relationship and her only way out, is to find a new man, to replace the abuser with? How can she find a new man, if she doesn’t conduct at least emotional Cheating? Are you going to tell her to stay within the abusive relationship, just to avoid Cheating? We should be helping her to Cheat, without her abusive husband or boyfriend finding out, due to Cheating on an abuser can be dangerous. And any person that know her husband or boyfriend is abusive and still shame her for Cheating, especially those that would inform her husband or boyfriend of it, there is a special place in hell, waiting for them.
News Article: Former Abuse Victim “I Cheated on my Abusive husband and it saved my life. The affair was a door, a way out. I walked through that door” (Special thanks to Tristan Marrok for sharing this article)
A common argument Cupid see people use to argue in favor of the mainstream western view of “All Cheating to be wrong” is the believe that “A person should be loyal, faithful and committed in a relationship”
But here is a further question, why should you be loyal, faithful and committed to somebody just because you are dating or married.
In response to that question, the most common answer from westerners is the believe that “You made a commitment”
However, here is the problem. Let’s say you got a job working on a project in Alaska, but to keep the project confidential, you need to sign a contract where can’t leave Alaska for the three months duration of the project. But your son got into a car accident and is in critical condition in hospital and require your signature for the hospital to be allow to perform life and death surgery, otherwise your son would die within 48 hours. Thus, you rush back to New York ASAP, to sign the surgical agreement paper. What you did here, without a doubt, is a breach of contract, thus, broke a commitment, but considering the circumstances, is it unethical?
If you got paid by Jack, to deliver a bag of goods to Tim, but when you were driving in your car, with the bag of goods, you discover the bag of goods are actually drugs! So, you went straight to the police station and gave the drugs to the cops and explain everything to the cops. That is also a situation where you broke a commitment to Jack. But it isn’t doing anything wrong, instead what you did here is of good ethic.
Thus, the principle of Cheating and breaking a commitment, is still in accordance to principle of Ethic. When an act of Cheating violates the principle of ethic, such act of Cheating or breaking a commitment is unethical. Otherwise it isn’t unethical. And there are times, Cheating and breaking a commitment is the right thing to do.
However, Cupid would give you this much, most cases of Cheating and breaking a commitment, violate the principle of ethic, thus, is unethical, just like most cases of stealing is unethical. However, there are some exceptions. And amount those exceptions, there are some rare cases, where Cheating or breaking a commitment, is the right thing to do.
You might argue “How would you like it, if you been cheated on” Well, been Cheated on is hurtful. However, let’s say for example, nobody like been stabbed, but if a person got stab due to, they try to rape a girl and the girl’s dad stab him, her dad did nothing wrong and the person getting stabbed is at fault. But, if you got stab due to trying to stop a robbery and the robber stabbed you, the robber is at fault and you did nothing wrong.
Sometime falsely accuse people of Cheating or exposing Cheaters is violating the principle of ethic. For example, if a woman is in an abusive marriage and her only way out is to find a new man. To such extent her act of Cheating isn’t unethical. However, you exposing her for been a Cheater to other, might be Unethical, because Cheating on an abuser can be danger, thus, her act of Cheating is taking a dangerous risk. And you exposing her for been a Cheater, might lead the news, getting back to her abusive husband’s ears, which would be putting her in danger.
The reason Cheating in exam is wrong, is due to it causes disturbance to good order. However, cheating in abusive romantic relationship, isn’t causing disturbance to good order, because such order is a bad order. (although in Asia the problem now is, some women that Cheat on their husband lie about domestic abuse, to justify their Cheating.)
What if someone say “Cheating is hurting other people’s feeling so it is unethical”
Technically speaking it is not possible to hurt another’s feeling. As humans we actually respond to our evaluation of situation, not situations itself. The information enters our brain via our five senses, sight, smell, touch, taste and hearing. Our brain evaluates that information and that is what we respond to. Thus, for example, if a person is trying to be friendly to you, but you evaluate that as a threat, you are going to act as if that person is threatening you. Thus, you cannot possibly hurt another’s feeling, their feelings been hurt, is resulting from their response to their evaluation of the situation. Thus, the politically correct term isn’t “Cheating is hurting other people’s feeling” but “Cheating can be a hurtful thing to do.” Whether that person’s feeling is hurt, is out of your control. For example, with cyber bulling, for most people it doesn’t bother them, other people are saying mean thing about them online, especially older kids, but for others, it is a different story. On the other hand, sometime you can do something completely not hurtful, yet, somebody’s feeling is hurt. Regarding to whether your action of conducting such hurtful act or your action led the other person’s feeling to be hurt, is unethical, we need to consider whether it cause disturbance to the principle of peace, harmony or justice. (And at some rare occasion, it might be of good ethic! For example, if cyber bully led a mob boss to suffer depression and commit suicide, those people that are conducting that particular cyber bullying did the community a great service.)
When you are in a relationship,
you are not obligated to be a good boyfriend or good
girlfriend.
When you are in a relationship,
You are not obligated to be a good husband or wife
It is all about the code of ethic,
Peace, Harmony and Justice
When been a bad boyfriend or girlfriend break the code of
ethic
Don’t be a bad boyfriend or girlfriend
When been a bad husband or wife break the code of ethic
Don’t be a bad husband or wife
But when been a good boyfriend or girlfriend break the code
of ethic
Don’t be a good boyfriend or girlfriend
When been a good husband or wife break the code of ethic
Don’t be a good boyfriend or girlfriend.
Sometime been a good boyfriend or good girlfriend
Is the right thing to do
But, sometime been a bad boyfriend or bad girlfriend
Is the right thing to do
Sometime been a good husband or good wife
Is the right thing to do
But, sometime been a bad husband or bad wife
Is the right thing to do
Sometime been a bad boyfriend or bad girlfriend
Is the wrong thing to do
But, sometime been a good boyfriend or good girlfriend
Is the wrong thing to do
Sometime been a bad husband or bad wife
Is the wrong thing to do
But, sometime been a good husband or good wife
Is the wrong thing to do
Don’t be loyal, faithful and committed in a relationship
When not been loyal, faithful and committed break the code of
ethic
Be loyal, faithful and committed.
But when been loyal faithful and committed break the code of
ethic
Don’t be loyal, faithful and committed.
(I know this is a very crappy poem, but it gets the point
across, so…whatever)
Although
I once met an Asian girl that think “You can take me out” just mean, “we can be
friends and hangout as friends” (Although, it might be to do with when I said I
want to take her out, I was just kidding around and wasn’t expecting her to say
“yes”, especially consider we just met 30 minutes ago in the library and is
just flirting around a bit and she just broke up with her long term boyfriend
of 9 years, 3 weeks ago. So, when she replied in Chinese 好啊 which translate to
English mean “Of course” I had to quickly explain to her, I was just joking, considering
I hate been on “boyfriend and girlfriend” term, after that, she quickly said “I
mean hangout as friends” maybe she actually meant “hangout as friends” or maybe
to save face. What do you think?) But, when a guy said “I also want to take you
out if possible” and the girl said “You can take me out, sure” Do you think
that qualify as a consent to date? What is your opinion on that?
Page Seventeen
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